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Archive for the ‘stan kroenke’ tag

Stan Kroenke Buys North Texas Ranch to Relocate Citizens of St. Louis

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kroenkeDALLAS, TX – Billionaire developer and professional sports team owner Stan Kroenke announced this week that he has acquired the largest piece of ranch land in America, the 535,000 acre J.T. Waggoner Ranch about 175 miles northwest of Dallas, in order to relocate the citizens of St. Louis, Missouri.

Kroenke recently prevailed in his efforts to move the NFL’s St. Louis Rams, which he owns, to Los Angeles. He reportedly felt both emboldened by the NFL’s decision to approve the Rams’ move and sufficiently resentful at the petulant, ungrateful residents of St. Louis to force them to relocate to a barren tract of north Texas land.

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Written by Ironic Commando

February 10th, 2016 at 10:23 am

Stan Kroenke Moves Arsenal F.C. to Syria Just to be a Dick

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Stan Kroenke, king of douches

LONDON – Billionaire and majority owner of Arsenal Football Club Stan Kroenke announced today that he will be moving the team– one of England’s most popular and highly decorated outfits– to Syria, a Middle-Eastern nation engulfed in civil war, just because he’s an enormous dick and enjoys behaving like a villainous caricature.

Kroenke has become widely reviled for his decision to relocate the St. Louis Rams to Los Angeles despite herculean efforts by the Missouri city to assemble a public financing package for a new football stadium. The real estate developer and owner of multiple professional sports team now seems to have embraced his public image of an avaricious, loathsome piece of shit.

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Written by Ironic Commando

February 7th, 2016 at 2:03 pm