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Harvard Succumbs to Student Demands for Recess, Naptime and Milk Boxes

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harvardCAMBRIDGE, MA – Harvard University administration officials announced today that the prestigious institution will begin offering daily recess breaks to students, followed by a quiet period for naps and 2% milk boxes. The nation’s oldest university, which was founded in 1636 and has educated┬áseven American presidents, disclosed that the funding for the milk boxes, in addition to graham crackers and bibs, will be drawn from Harvard’s $33 billion endowment.

Harvard University president Drew Gilpin Faust remarked, “We are hopeful that the decision to provide our students recess and naptime periods, as well as milk refreshments, will promote greater harmony within our community. We are working closely with child development professionals to produce enriching recess programming, which we expect to┬átake place within several of the 700 safe zones we have established on campus.”


Written by Ironic Commando

December 2nd, 2015 at 9:51 am