Archive for the ‘I Hate Celebrities’ Category
LOS ANGELES – Former Vice President and current activist Al Gore has razed several hundred million acres of Amazon rainforest with a message promoting environmental responsibility. Gore contracted a Brazilian construction firm to produce a controlled conflagration in the shape of the message “Live Green” and bulldoze the smoldering remains.
Gore boasted that the message– intended to raise awareness about the dangers of industrialized civilization– can be seen from space; he also expressed hope that intelligent beings from other galaxies will interpret the message as evidence of his enlightenment.
Several ecologically-minded celebrities such as Leonardo DiCaprio and Mark Ruffalo will join Gore to celebrate completion of the project by skywriting “Global Warming Deniers Are Anti-Science And Must Be Stopped” through the exhaust smoke of a large fleet of private jets.
It is believed that Gore raised a portion of the funding for his rainforest project from the sale of a minority stake in his investment firm to the Iranian Sovereign Fund.
Via the White House Flickr feed.
In this segment from “Stephen Fry in America,” the foppish English actor writer gains field access to the Auburn-Alabama football game:
Fry’s litany of contradictory adjectives doesn’t encapsulate America; it demonstrates only that– even if America could be defined– the patronizing pedant Stephen Fry is not the one to do it.
Matt Damon was recently asked his opinion on the debt ceiling debate and Obama’s desire to increase taxes. Damon, of course, is a man who is paid to pretend that he is somebody else by reciting words from memory and changing his facial expression. In other words– an authority on political philosophy and the American economy.
It does not matter that he fails to formulate a single coherent sentence or summon a single fact; Matt Damon is armed with a loose amalgamation of progressive talking points and the self-satisfaction of his own moral superiority.
I had a random, vague recollection of Serj Tankian making very silly faces in the music video for “Empty Walls.” (Tankian was the lead vocalist for the hyper-leftist, largely unlistenable nu metal band System of a Down.) I searched for the video on YouTube and was delighted to discover that Serj is hawking my favorite sandwich spread:
I never made it to Serj’s silly faces because I couldn’t help wondering whether the Marxist revolutionaries of Rage Against The Machine had anything else to sell me…
The Daily Caller reports that Michael Ian Black (“The State,” “Wet Hot American Summer”) will co-write a book with the flamboyantly stupid and insecure quasi-celebrity Meghan McCain:
Meghan, the daughter of Ariz. Sen. John McCain, tweeted on Tuesday, “SO EXCITED TO FINALLY ANNOUNCE I’m writing my next book with a gosh darned Democrat.” The Arizona native also linked to a Publisher’s Weekly story, which confirms that she’s indeed teaming up with Michael Ian Black for a humor book titled, “Stupid for America.”
Robert Guinsler at Sterling Lord brokered the deal for the unlikely duo, who met each other, hit it off, and then came up with the idea for the book, Publisher’s Weekly wrote. The pair will be touring the country this summer, talking to everyday Americans about politics, to find out why, as the publisher put it, the system is “so f-ed up.”
- That guy from that one movie in 1999 says Obama isn’t losing Hollywood. And I guess he would know because… he watches a lot of movies?
- Aww. Sheryl Crow has mixed emotions about killing Osama. It must be a huge relief not actually to believe in anything.
- Gasp! Rob Lowe flew on a 9/11 terrorist’s “dry run” flight. You may recall that Seth MacFarlane had a seat on one of the 9/11 planes but missed his flight. Because if 9/11 is about anything, it is about the persistent good fortune of celebrities.
Via Big Hollywood.