"Hilarious." – Daniel Hannan

Archive for November, 2010

All I Want For Christmas

without comments

Lasers are overrated…   

With this weapon system, we take away cover from [enemy targets] forever.  Tactics are going to have to be rewritten. The only thing we can see [enemies] being able to do is run away.   

Although lacking an appropriate name (like Ultradeath Doomcannon), to say that this weapon is a revolutionary battlefield gamechanger is almost certainly not hyperbole.  

I’m considering rejoining the Army just to get my hands on this thing, the XM-25.  A 25mm cannon in the hands of the infantryman — at least our kick-ass military can still make up for all the foreign policy failures of a clueless administration (one house-destroying 25mm round at a time).   

Give me one of these and point me to Tehran!

We win war


Written by MikeM

November 30th, 2010 at 10:30 pm

Julian Assange 2, USA 0

without comments

As much as it pains me to say it, our government is now engaged in extremely serious diplomatic damage control due to the actions of an emotionally unstable Army private first class and an America-hating self-aggrandizing assclown.  But it says more about our government than it does that dynamic duo.

In the worst possible way, this is validation for anyone recently concerned with the weak foreign policy of the Obama administration.  It would have been better to be wrong, but as it turns out, apology tours and Muslim pep rally speeches from the president do not a strong America make.

The only benefit of this national security disaster is a look behind the scenes at what is really going on in our world.  Unfortunately it is not one that builds confidence in American leadership. 

I picked a couple of items out of the day’s embarassing info dump that especially irked me:

Obama’s “tear down this wall” moment — as it turns out, the Iranian elections in June 2009 were rigged.  Huh.

[Name removed] said that based on calculations from Mousavi’s campaign observers who were present at polling stations around the country and who witnessed the vote counts, Mousavi received approximately 26 million (or 61%) of the 42 million votes cast in Friday’s election, followed by Mehdi Karroubi (10-12 million). According to his sources, Ahmadinejad received “a maximum of 4-5 million votes,” with the remainder going to Mohsen Rezai. He said that more than anything else, the huge turnout of voters on Friday was a reflection of the Iranian electorate’s overwhelming “anti-Ahmadinejad” sentiments.

Obama’s response?  He was excited about the “robust debate taking place in Iran”.  A rigged election, suppression of freedom of speech, and killing your citizens in the streets is not my idea of “robust debate”.

We are excited to see what appears to be a robust debate taking place in Iran. And obviously, after the speech that I made in Cairo, we tried to send a clear message that we think there is the possibility of change. And ultimately, the election is for the Iranians to decide, but just as has been true in Lebanon, what can be true in Iran as well is that you’re seeing people looking at new possibilities. And whoever ends up winning the election in Iran, the fact that there’s been a robust debate hopefully will help advance our ability to engage them in new ways.

He was also “deeply troubled“, although when it came to simply standing up for freedom in the world,

It is not productive, given the history of US-Iranian relations to be seen as meddling — the US president, meddling in Iranian elections.

Mr. Gorbachev…please continue doing whatever you want in East Germany.  I would hate to intrude.  Suppressive Communist government is your choice, and I can respect that.

A second item that caught my eye was the underhanded attempt at horse trading political favors to ship prisoners out of Guantanamo Bay prison.  Obama ran on the issue of closing Gitmo, but faced with the same realities that George Bush was when he set up the prison, the issue suddenly seemed untenable.  Obama’s solution:  give them a trial?  No.  Release them?  No.  Instead, tell Belgium that if they accepted Gitmo prisoners it would be a “a low-cost way for Belgium to attain prominence in Europe”.  Come on, Belgium, all the cool kids are doing it.

Bargaining to empty the Guantánamo Bay prison: When American diplomats pressed other countries to resettle detainees, they became reluctant players in a State Department version of “Let’s Make a Deal.” Slovenia was told to take a prisoner if it wanted to meet with President Obama, while the island nation of Kiribati was offered incentives worth millions of dollars to take in Chinese Muslim detainees, cables from diplomats recounted. The Americans, meanwhile, suggested that accepting more prisoners would be “a low-cost way for Belgium to attain prominence in Europe.”

Missouri senator Claire McCaskill’s respone to the Wikileaks leak?

The people who are leaking these documents need to do a gut check about their patriotism.

A patriotic gut check?  Seriously?  They aren’t Americans, senator.  Consider reading a newspaper, even the New York Times would have cleared that up for you.  Hopefully Missouri will do a “competency gut check” and vote the senator out of office at the earliest opportunity.


Written by MikeM

November 29th, 2010 at 6:43 pm


without comments

I mean, maybe it’s just one of those things, but to me it’s ridiculous.

Via Rillawafers on Tumblr.


Written by Whattapundit

November 26th, 2010 at 2:08 pm

Meghan McCain’s Adventures in Hyperbole

without comments

Meghan McCain hit the thesaurus hard this week trying to fill a column for the Daily Beast on her bête noire Sarah Palin. The result is an exercise in hyperbole so lazy and puerile that it begins to write itself after the first few lines. Prepare to become stupider:

Unless you have been living under a rock, the complete and total media saturation of every single outlet with all things Sarah Palin, all the time, has hit a proverbial fever pitch these past few weeks.


She is simply everywhere. Her omnipresence and the questions about her future are seeping into any and all conversations even remotely political—and now everything pop cultural, too.

Sarah Palin has become a societal addiction and the media and our whole culture are constantly looking for our next fix.

Wanna run for president?… saturate every entity with tweets and Facebook updates on every conceivable subject. I dare anyone in the news to not report on one of her tweets.

The way she is currently running for president is either sheer genius or ultimate insanity.

Via Jim Treacher.

A hilariously brutal review of Meghan McCain’s cretinous book
Meghan McCain and Claire McCaskill: Separated At Birth?
EXCLUSIVE: Missourah.com Reveals The Cover Of Meghan McCain’s New Book
Guest Blogger: Meghan McCain


While the media talks about who is touching our junk…

without comments

Sure, the story of TSA violating our civil liberties is important, but it’s starting to prove to be a bit of a distraction.  Unfortunately this is a busy Thanksgiving, and we have a lot more to worry about than watching football and sliding that belt out one more notch after eating grandma’s butter coated sugar pie with butter crust.

North Korea launched 100 artillery rounds at a South Korean island, killing 2 soldiers and 2 civilians.  According to the (North Korean) Committee for the Peaceful Reunification of Korea (lol):  “The confrontation between the North and the South in the political and military fields has been put to such extremes that the inter-Korean relations have reached the brink of a war.”

Wikileaks intends to release hundreds of thousands of classified internal State Department documents that “could negatively impact U.S. foreign relations”, according to the Assistant Secretary for Legislative Affairs.

And if Quantitative Easing wasn’t dangerous enough to the health of the dollar:

China and Russia have decided to renounce the US dollar and resort to using their own currencies for bilateral trade, Premier Wen Jiabao and his Russian counterpart Vladimir Putin announced late on Tuesday.

It’s more than the average American really has time to worry about — but that’s why we elect a president, hopefully one of our most competent citizens (okay…ideally), to act as the agent of the people representing the best interests of America.  In this sense President Obama has categorically failed.  He might as well have had his fingers crossed when he took the oath of office.  He couldn’t even get a free trade agreement signed with South Korea, with 28,000 American troops stationed there for their protection, and now a carrier strike group on the way.  Maybe he should just go meet with Hugo Chavez, he might do better there with a kindred narcissistic Marxist spirit.


Written by MikeM

November 24th, 2010 at 9:33 pm

THE ONION: Obama Outlines Moral, Philosophical Justifications For Turkey Pardon

without comments

He invited both parties to a conference at the White House but the talks broke down around hour six when a frustrated Mitch McConnell said, “Oh my God, just do whatever,” and left the room.

Obama Outlines Moral, Philosophical Justifications For Turkey Pardon

SEE ALSO: THE ONION: Obama to Enter Diplomatic Talks with Raging Wildfire


Written by Moog Rogue

November 23rd, 2010 at 7:07 pm

Don’t Touch Our Junk

with one comment

Number of American planes hijacked/destroyed between 2001-2010 using (mostly) non-invasive passenger screening procedures:  ZERO

Even in the worst case, if the underwear bomber had been successful in destroying his target, losing one flight out of tens of millions must be considered an acceptable level of risk.

TSA’s new invasive searches still wont discover the most cleverly and aggresively hidden explosives.  We’re trading away our 4th amendment rights and the sanctity of our bodies for…what?  How long is it until we encounter a Butt-Bombing Rectal Radical, and how can TSA possibly react when that happens?  100% body cavity searches?  Impractical, impossible, and utterly unreasonable.  The only perfectly secure society is one with perfect control over its citizens (and then, there is no freedom for the individual), so we must decide at what point we stop trading liberty for security.

One shoe bomber.  One underwear bomber.  Both unsuccessful.  Isn’t a 100% success rate good enough for our flight security?  One has to wonder, why is anyone trying to improve on a 100% safety record in the first place?

If it aint broke…don’t fondle grandma!


Written by MikeM

November 18th, 2010 at 5:51 pm


without comments

The St. Louis Post-Dispatch reports that Wash U. students are fired up about the new Harry Potter movie and planning a weeklong “College Cup Tournament” to celebrate the premiere. The Tournament will even include a “horcrux scavenger hunt.”

But it was the photo that really caught my eye. Behold quidditch boy– which could be meme-fodder if anybody actually read the Post-Dispatch:

Live-action virginity.

Live-action virginity.

UPDATE (Whattapundit): Inevitable:

Watch out, Star Wars Kid!

Watch out, Star Wars Kid!



Written by Shittypundit

November 17th, 2010 at 5:40 pm