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"Hilarious." – Daniel Hannan

Archive for August, 2010

Change we can’t believe in

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It turns out some “Obama coins” are Kennedy half-dollars with cheap stickers of Obama pasted on the front of them.  Sure, it’s just a dirty trick by some unethical company trying to profit off the real emotions of people after the last election.  But it serves as a fitting microcosm of this glorious Obama era we are in right now.  I think a lot of people are waking up to the fact that America got taken for a ride in the last election.  Our president himself is a lot of old, tired ideas with a shiny new sticker slapped on them.

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Written by MikeM

August 29th, 2010 at 12:25 pm

DAS KRAUTHAMMER: The Last Refuge Of A Liberal

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The Democrats are going to get beaten badly in November. Not just because the economy is ailing. And not just because Obama over-read his mandate in governing too far left. But because a comeuppance is due the arrogant elites whose undisguised contempt for the great unwashed prevents them from conceding a modicum of serious thought to those who dare oppose them.

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Written by Moog Rogue

August 27th, 2010 at 11:24 am

Why Is Clint Howard A Conservative?

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I was fascinated (and pleased) to discover today that Clint Howard– the goofy-looking bit actor who pops up in big brother Ron’s movies– is an out-and-out conservative.

Howard described himself as a “conservative minded citizen” in an interview with the Daily Caller:

“I understand that show business people can wear the public a bit thin when it comes to politics. I know they wear me thin,” Howard said. “I’m not a policy wonk and I don’t dream of being a political operative. My goal as a citizen is to do what I can to help the causes that I personally believe in. To me, it is the same as walking the precinct.”

Of course, it is no mystery that Ron Howard carries water for the Democrats and merrily proselytized the Hopenchange mythos.

So why is Clint (b. 1959) a conservative and Ron (b. 1954) a liberal? For me, this photo from the Daily Caller article says it all:

See also: constrained vision, unconstrained vision

One of these men looks sunny, self-satisfied and a little credulous. One of them looks like Clint Howard.

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Written by Moog Rogue

August 25th, 2010 at 10:00 pm

ONION: Smart, Qualified People Behind the Scenes Keeping America Safe: ‘We Don’t Exist’

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“Look, I understand your psychological need to invent someone like me so that you can stop worrying about imminent disasters and get some sleep at night,” said the hyper-articulate, Princeton-educated political-scientist jujitsu-master we’re all imagining. “But the reality is most of the smart, qualified people in this country are wasting away in assistant professorships at struggling public universities or making millions of dollars in some venture capital group. In fact, that’s exactly the kind of job I would have right now if I were a real person. Which I’m not.”

But good luck with everything,” he added, or rather didn’t add, because he neither said anything nor even ever existed at all.

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Written by Moog Rogue

August 25th, 2010 at 4:57 pm

Posted in Funny Stuff and Satire

Tagged with ,

Claire McCaskill appreciates the limits of federal spending, after all

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Sen. Claire McCaskill (D-MO) has no problem spending money we don’t have on porcine stimulus bills that don’t work, unpopular and violative national healthcare bills that don’t curb costs, and perpetual unemployment benefits that don’t create jobs.

But what about paying for improvements to a cherished national monument and civic treasure– a universally-recognized icon of Claire’s home state of Missouri?

Claire’s got just the idea– bake sales!

UPDATE: MikeM writes,

shuckie darns we need more cash? how about a good ol fashin’ ho-down dibberty jibbity doo!

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Written by Shittypundit

August 20th, 2010 at 6:51 pm

The Onion Abandons Satire…

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You’ve heard the expression, “it’s funny because it’s true.” But that usually involves the revelation of a deeper, unspoken truth.

In this case, flimsy, cynical accusations of racism aren’t some kind of absurd comedic device, they are the unfortunate reality of anybody who has substantively disagreed with Barack Obama, championed border security, or expressed disapproval of the Ground Zero mosque. (To name just a few issues off the top of my head.)

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Written by Moog Rogue

August 19th, 2010 at 10:40 pm

Thanks again, Keith, for the unintended levity

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In my last post I wondered if there were any contemporary 8th century Spaniards who were apologists for the Muslim invasion.  But who needs that, when you’ve got Keith Olbermann to put a strange yet hilarious spin on history?  In the video below, Olbermann takes on Newt Gingrich’s (radical, inflammatory, racist) views on the Ground Zero Mosque issue.  His excerpt from Gingrich’s statement, originally from an opinion piece in the Washington Post:

It refers to Cordoba, Spain — the capital of Muslim conquerors who symbolized their victory over the Christian Spaniards by transforming a church there into the world’s third-largest mosque complex.  Today, some of the mosque’s backers insist this term is being used to ‘symbolize interfaith cooperation’ when, in fact, every Islamist in the world recognizes Cordoba as a symbol of Islamic conquest.

Olbermann’s response:

Those Muslim conquerors are a figment of Mr. Gingrich’s lurid imagination.  In Spain, in Cordoba, though the Muslims established multicultural non-denominational institutions of learning, they were under constant attack from Christian armies, and from a series of internal all-Muslim civil wars — the Muslims lost Cordoba, and the Christian church they turned into the ‘world’s 3rd largest mosque complex’?  That was turned back into a Christian cathedral in the 13th century, and it has been one ever since.

The Muslim conquerors of Spain are a figment of Newt Gingrich’s imagination?  Olbermann makes it sound like Caliph Al-Walid I attempted to establish an interfaith outreach program in Cordoba, then was assailed on all sides by angry, ignorant Christians bent on murdering their friendly, peace-loving Islamic teachers.  Under Caliph Al-Walid an agressive, expansionist Islamic empire conquered southern Spain.  For the next 800 years, the Christian kingdoms of Spain tried to take it back.  It was called the Reconquista.  Yes, my links are all to Wikipedia which should always be taken with a grain of salt, but it suffices for the purposes of a blog post and I’ll take 5 minutes of Google research over a nonsensical, revisionist diatribe that either is determined to ignore history, or twist it to fit a narrative.

Olbermann goes on to say that every place of worship built in the United States is essentially portraying the same triumphalism (over the Native Americans) that Gingrich accuses this mosque of.

Maybe Keith’s insanity is hardly even worth a moment’s consideration anymore, but it is still…entertaining.

UPDATE:  this just in from historian Keith Olbermann — the Roman Empire was actually nothing more than a nightmare Ronald Reagan had after eating some bad shellfish.  And the Napoleonic Wars were just a brief hallucination of Sarah Palin’s after applying a little too much hairspray.

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Written by MikeM

August 19th, 2010 at 4:31 pm

Sticking Your Head In the Sand – Not Just For Ostriches?

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From Matt Sledge writing for HuffPo (and yes the link is worth it): 
 
The “Ground Zero Mosque” that we have been and will be hearing so much about is not exactly a mosque, nor is it at Ground Zero.
Ah.  Whew!  I guess we dodged a bullet there.  That not-a-mosque not near ground zero seemed a like real stick in our eye for a minute there.  Although…the map he uses to prove how ridiculously far away the un-mosque is…looks suspiciously like a map I would use to prove how close it is.  
 
Okay but at least it’s not like it’s called the Death to the Infidel Victory in Manhattan Mosque.  Just the Cordoba Center  — a center for outreach, and whatnot.  Oh shit, Cordoba?  We should probably ask the 8th century Spanish what they think about that, since Muslim invaders conquered the Cordoba region in southern Spain and built a…well…glorious victory mosque.  But those 8th century Spanish were probably racists anyways.
 
So it was originally going to be named the Cordoba House, after a mosque that was built in celebration of conquering the Christians of Spain, and it was originally going to be opened on Sept. 11, 2011.  All I can say is:  I get it.  No, really, message received.  Can it be any more clear?  I wish we could ask the founding fathers their opinion on “religious freedom” in this particular instance.  But I think they would slap me on the head if I asked them that, and tell me to use just a little common sense and a very basic knowledge of Islamic history.
 
I wonder if there were any contemporary 8th century Spaniards who said “Don’t worry, the mosque they’re building on the rubble of our church isn’t really a mosque, it’s more of an outreach center!”.  Yes, it is a ridiculous comparison.  Who cares what happened 1200 years ago, can’t we all just get along?  Of course!  I know for me personally, millenia-old disagreements don’t keep me up at night – but I make the comparison because the people behind this mosque obviously do too.
 
To all the feel-good liberals out there whose ideology is the center of your self-esteem I make this offer:  I will gladly be the fall guy for your self esteem.  I will be that “bigoted”, “small-minded” hick from “somewhere west of Manhattan” who provides the moral outrage for keeping this particular mosque out of your city.  It’s time to let the grown-ups take care of this, because whether you realize it or not, these people want to fucking kill you and film it for Al-Jazeera.

   

Oh, shit!

 

We come for you too, ostrich!

 

 
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Written by MikeM

August 18th, 2010 at 3:41 pm