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"Hilarious." – Daniel Hannan

Archive for March, 2010

Rep. Hank Johnson (D-GA) worried that influx of 8,000 Navy servicemen could “tip over and capsize” the island of Guam

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Via Ace of Spades HQ. (From the comments: “Island tipping is racist.”)

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Written by Moog Rogue

March 31st, 2010 at 8:44 pm

THE ONION: U.S. Government To Save Billions By Cutting Wasteful Senator Program

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As usual, it tilts left, but it’s still pretty clever–

An analysis conducted last week revealed a number of troubling flaws within the long-running, heavily subsidized program, including a lack of consistent oversight, no clear objectives or goals, the persistent hiring of unqualified and selfishly motivated individuals, and a 100 percent redundancy rate among its employees.

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Written by Moog Rogue

March 30th, 2010 at 9:38 pm

Glenn Reynolds Is A Robot (Possibly From The Future)

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Why Glenn Reynolds Is A Robot

1. He does not sleep.

Every single blog entry on Instapundit is time stamped. The gaps between posts are so short and irregular that it is impossible to discern when (if ever) this “Glenn Reynolds” goes to sleep– or, perhaps more appropriately, “recharges.”

2. He is able to multiply and dispatch different versions of himself into the world.

Glenn Reynolds is purportedly a professor of law at the University of Tennessee. Here is his faculty page at the UT website. Looks pretty legit. But when does this guy find the time to grade papers and teach classes, let alone conduct research or write scholarly articles?

If the whole law professor thing wasn’t enough, he writes for several well-established newspapers, including the New York Times, Washington Post, Washington Times, Los Angeles Times, and Wall Street Journal. Occasionally, he even shows up on TV– most recently while attending the national Tea Party convention in Nashville.

That’s a pretty full plate. It certainly can’t be the same guy who is posting to his blog every couple of minutes. Even if he has no physiological need for sleep.

3. He reads everything. Everything.

Glenn Reynolds has been writing Instapundit since August 2001 and he has very seldom, if ever, found it necessary to clarify or retract anything he has posted. The only explanation is that he has thoroughly vetted each source and he closely read everything he links. This doesn’t sound like a human being, does it?

4. He has an unusual fascination with technology and a preoccupation with the pace of technological progress.

A technology enthusiast and contributor to Popular Mechanics, Reynolds frequently links to articles about biotechnology, artificial intelligence (AI), nanotechnology, robotics and occasionally, the Singularity–the fabled moment when AI has surpassed human intelligence and great technological leaps forward are measured literally in seconds.

If you read Instapundit, you will frequently see links to articles about technology preceded by “Faster, please.”

Is he bored by the human world? Desperate for the emergence of a techno-utopia, perhaps the one which sent him back in time to hasten its arrival?

Instapundit had over 140 million pageviews in 2009, according to SiteMeter. A link from Instapundit drives tremendous traffic. (Often dubbed an “Instalanche.”) It also confers legitimacy, a kind of imprimatur from an influential technophile– and perhaps indirectly channels attention (and resources) to the more promising areas of research.

instapundit35. He has obviously chosen his name (and his blog’s title) to engender trust among his human cohorts.

What kind of a last name is Reynolds, anyway? It’s kind of unplaceably Scots-Irish, or maybe English. In any event, it’s very generic and doesn’t invite one to ask any questions about a Reynolds’s origin.

And “Instapundit”? There is something vaguely evocative of kitschy atomic age technology about the prefix “Insta-“. He seems to be obviating claims that he is a robot by choosing a technology-related but disarmingly nostalgic title.

Why He’s A Benevolent Robot

1. He embraces free will and individualism.

Let’s face it, an evil robot from the future would probably be a Democrat. That is the party most closely aligned with totalitarianism, coercion, one-world governance and the centralized control of resources. Moreover, traditional media clearly tilts leftward.

An evil robot intent on destroying and/or controlling mankind would likely seek to consolidate power toward that end. A loose confederation of individuals exercising independent judgment does not lend itself to a tyrannical computer overlord.

Would an evil robot hook his saddle to the Tea Party movement, for heaven’s sake?

2. He seems like a pretty nice guy.

I know it could only be an act, but the guy doesn’t seem to get angry at anything. Not even Andrew Sullivan.

Why It Matters

You do not need to worry about us, Instapundit. We are onto you, and we’re OK with it. We are ready for you to share your future robot knowledge with us. (Faster, please…)

UPDATE (4/4):An Easter Instalanche! (Easterlanche?)

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Written by Whattapundit

March 30th, 2010 at 8:15 pm

Frustrated With Testing Delays, Boeing Renames 787 Jetliner “Horrorbird” And Commences Production

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CHICAGO – Boeing Airlines, America’s largest aerospace and defense corporation, has announced that they will soon bring the long-delayed 787 jet airliner to market under the name “Horrorbird.” The new name, which replaces “Dreamliner,” reflects a new spirit of bold risk-taking, adventure and haste that is expected to minimize the delays which have plagued some of the company’s projects.

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Written by Ironic Commando

March 30th, 2010 at 5:16 pm

WTF: Discovered among my photos from Australia/New Zealand (2005)

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Written by Moog Rogue

March 30th, 2010 at 4:56 pm

STOSSEL: Brilliant Government Testing (Energy Star)

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The fake companies submitted data indicating that the models consumed 20 percent less energy than even the most efficient ones on the market. Yet those applications were mostly approved without a challenge or even questions.

The EPA responded by saying that most Energy Star products are not frauds. How would they know?

Via Instapundit.

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Written by Moog Rogue

March 29th, 2010 at 4:52 pm

Sarah Palin’s Diary of Hate

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As Frank Rich thoughtfully and accurately notes in his column for the New York Times today, Sarah Palin’s rhetoric about “reloading” and “targeting” Democrats in the November elections is a barely-veiled promise to begin literally shooting politicians with actual guns. I spent a little time browsing Sarah Palin’s Facebook page to see whether she is sending any other dangerous messages…


“Code Red“?! Do you know what’s red? The blood of Sarah Palin’s political opponents! Good God, this woman must be stopped!


“Searchlight“? You know what emits light? The flames of a burning cross! Sarah Palin is a murderous segregationist!


“Censorship“? Hmm… Don’t you mean slave ship?! Who will step up and prevent this rightwing hatemonger from reinstituting the slave trade?!


“Fact-checking the Obamacare Summit”? This self-proclaimed “hockey mom” can’t pretend she doesn’t know the violence implicit in “checking!”


Get Organized“? You know who else organized? Hitler! When will you people understand that this woman is a genocidal sociopath determined to destroy everything you know and care about!

SEE ALSO: New from Missourah: “Teabagger Hatemeter”

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Written by Shittypundit

March 29th, 2010 at 8:52 am

Ronald Reagan Replies to Nancy Pelosi on Obamacare

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Ronald Reagan lets Nancy Pelosi know how he feels about Obamcare.

Reagan clip from “The Killers” (1964) via Ace of Spades HQ.

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Written by Shittypundit

March 28th, 2010 at 7:03 pm