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"Hilarious." – Daniel Hannan

Archive for June, 2005

AP: Robert Redford “Figured” Deep Throat was in FBI

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The Associated Press has reported that Robert Redford figured Deep Throat was in the FBI. Curiously, there is no mention of Redford ever communicating his suspicion to anybody– until it became a 24-hour media fixation last week.

Oh, Robert, would that you had resisted the call of Make-Believe, and devoted your intuitive genius to exposing the truth! (…After MSNBC tells you what it is.)

Redford’s publicist released the following templates in case the 67-year old expires before he can make the statements himself:

“I figured that Osama Bin Laden was hiding [INSERT LOCATION].”

“I figured that [INSERT RESPONSIBLE PARTY] were responsible for the assassination of JFK.”

“I figured that the [INSERT SOMETHING] was [INSERT WHATEVER MAKES ROBERT REDFORD SOUND LIKE HE’S NOT A COMPLETE FUCKING MORON].”

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Written by Shittypundit

June 19th, 2005 at 4:29 pm